Steve and Michelle

June 11, 2011

Wedding Party

Deborah Alexander - Matron of Honor

Deborah is the sister of the bride. She is married to Steve Alexander (not to be confused with the groom, Steve Ankrom - this ain't Utah) and mother to two children, Augustus and Eloise, as well as a wolf-bear hybrid named Frisco and two grey cats, Nikko and Mac. The bride has repeatedly threatened to steal Deb's cat Nikko, but the groom was pleased when said threats turned out to be empty. Deb is great at many things - she is a wonderful mother, photographer, actress, debater, and among other things, she is a fantastic big sister and the bride is very lucky to have her. Michelle and Steve are forever in her debt because if it wasn't for her wedding, the bride and groom would have never met.

Emily Stitelman - Bridesmaid

The bride first met Emily in college during their senior year at Binghamton University. One of their first conversations revolved around a DKNY watch that they both wore, establishing a shared passion for designer wristwear. Emily and Michelle often frequented such fine establishments as The Rat and the Sports Bar. And so began a lovely friendship, filled with running in the park, dinners at Italian restaurants where the bride would occasionally finish a glass of wine, and other cool stuff.

Rebecca Burnstein - Bridesmaid

Rebecca and the bride first met in Florence, Italy where they studied (read: danced in Italian nightclubs) for a semester. They bonded over gelato, pizza, and a general dislike (read: jealousy) of their roommate's Italian boyfriend. Rebecca later proved her ability to stay calm as she drove the bride and friends through a white-out blizzard on their way to Montreal (and she was even politely lectured by some Canadian Mounties for driving too slow and not drinking enough Molson, eh?). Through a joint effort of Rebecca's driving and Michelle's lookout abilities, where Michelle had to stick her head out of the window like an eager puppy just to see if they could change lanes, the group arrived in Montreal safely.

Katherine Ankrom - Bridesmaid

Katherine (or Katy to friends and family; full name Katherine Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler Ankrom) was born on an unreasonably warm day in July in Columbus, Ohio. Katy unsuccessfully attempted to consume her twin sister in the womb, at least according to the fevered nightmares of the obstretician, Dr. Steven King (this may not be true). Pop quiz time: which Ankrom child was a cheerleader in high school? If you answered "Katy", you are wrong. The correct answer is Steve. Katy has patiently endured being tormented by the groom her entire life, up to and including what he wrote on this website. Katy currently lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with her fiance. Katy's life-long dream is to eat the world's largest hoagie.

Sarah Ankrom - Bridesmaid

Sarah was born on exactly the same day and almost exactly the same time as her sister, Katy. Medical science is still at a loss to explain such a bizarre occurrence. Like her brother the groom and her sister Katy, Sarah attended the most prestigious boarding schools and the finest educational institutions in Hancock County, Ohio. In between summers at the Vineyard and wintering in Vail, Sarah developed a passion and interest in dance. Intent on giving back, she once organized a dance competition to save the local community center from being bulldozed by an evil developer. Coincidentally, this was almost exactly the plot of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Eloise Alexander - Flower Girl

At the ripe age of 4 months old, Ellie, niece of Michelle, has gone through many milestones in her life - smiling, laughing, lifting her head, and now she has the honor of being a flower girl. She is very excited to be carried down the aisle and has even practiced making eye contact and smiling.

RJ Maccani - Best Man

Explorer, adventurer, raconteur: there is little that can be said about RJ Maccani (or "the Mac" as friends and family call him) that hasn't already been said. He met the groom in the fall of 1997 when they were both assigned to the same residence hall in college. After an impressive career as a charismatic radio DJ alongside the groom, RJ infamously turned down numerous entreaties from talk radio to organize workers in Ohio and West Virginia. He later moved in with the groom, sharing an apartment in an upscale neighborhood between Crown Heights and Bed-Stuy in Brooklyn, NY. RJ's life story was loosely adapted into the 2008 film Che.

Aral Sezginis - Best Man

Aral Sezginis (pronounced SAYS-GHINISH) and the groom met when they were both residents of Bradley Hall (a dorm reserved for smart people) at The Ohio State University. They bonded over shared fondness for music that today they are probably too embarrassed to admit they listened to. Aral went on to graduate from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College and now practices "medicine" in California. He is left handed. His greatest accomplishment was when he watched Twilight: New Moon in the theater seven times.

Micah Gauntner - Groomsman

Micah Gaunter also met the groom while both were living in Bradley Hall at The Ohio State University. (The rest of the 30-odd guys living on the floor are devastated that they were not invited to be part of the Ankrom-Philips wedding party.) He really disliked the groom the first time they met. It's true! Micah works in, uh, finance or something like that with Bank of America in North Carolina. Micah spends his free time working on a screenplay featuring the adventures of a protagonist who is a rich and suave stockbroker by day and a crime-fighting ninja by night. If the screenplay is ever produced, Micah looks forward to protracted litigation with the estate of Bob Kane, creator of Batman.

Benjamin Nixon - Groomsman

The elusive Ben Nixon (seen at left in a rare photo of him in his natural habitat) has until recently been considered by many to be a mythical creature, like the Yeti, or the leprechaun. Ben Nixon is notable for not meeting the groom at Ohio State. He is an accomplished corporate attorney, meaning he personally oils the wheels of capitalism with the blood of the workers. He rocks a wicked macarena. Not everyone knows this but Ben isn't an American. Strange but true!

Dean Agnos - Groomsman

Dean Agnos never would never have even spoken to the groom had the two not been forced to sit next to each other over the course of a grueling week of law firm orientation. That's right, it's all because "Agnos" and "Ankrom" are close to each other in the alphabet. Dean was the first person to come up with the concept of Facebook when he stumbled on Friendster in 2003 and thought it would be a good idea to rip off. His hobbies include crippling alcoholism and collecting Beanie Babies.

Peter Philips - Groomsman/Web producer extradoinare/bad speller

Peter Philips, better known as his stage name, Kanye West, has released a series of successful hip hop albums. When not recording multi-platinum albums, Pete spends his days as a l33t hax00r, culminating in the programming of this very website. He inadvertently forged a lifelong bond with the groom when Steve got engaged to Pete's sister.

Augustus Alexander - Ring Bearer

Augustus "Augie" Alexander will add "ring bearer at the Ankrom-Philips wedding" to his long list of accomplishments--a list that is particularly impressive given that Augie just celebrated his 4th birthday. Augie regularly plays with toys that have been clearly marked by the manufacturer as appropriate for ages 5 and up, he has recently completed a well-received English translation of Proust's A la recherche du temps perdu, and George Lucas was able to make a down payment on a new yacht based on Augies' Star Wars action figure purchases. He enjoys reenacting Return of the Jedi with his aunt Shell and his soon-to-be uncle "Ankrom," despite aunt Michelle's reluctance to don a metal bikini.